she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
