Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
that may or may not have been my penis.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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