I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
