i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
