im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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