Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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