She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
