Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
