found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
