two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
