I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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