I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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