don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
