wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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