So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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