if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
