yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
