PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
i've created a new STD.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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