yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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