Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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