We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize