i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Randomize
