so that wasnt chicken after all
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
