Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
