Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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