Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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