You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
