i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
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