Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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