dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I just blew my weed a kiss
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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