I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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