i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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