hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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