dude i'm inner monologue high
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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