Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
