Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
