so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
