So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
