I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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