Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
