Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
