I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
