I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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