What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize