Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
