you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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