I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Randomize
