so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
