Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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