I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
