This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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