you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
