At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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