she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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