That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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