He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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