New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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