allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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