When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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