I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
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