honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
