the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize