Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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