Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
