Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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