Already got asked if we're dating
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
