He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
